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Helpful Moving Tips - Leaving Teens Behind

Helpful Moving Tips - Leaving Teens Behind

Source: Standard Installation Topic Exchange System (SITES) for LIFELines

Sometimes relocation coincides inconveniently with the plans of your older children. Particularly if a young person is in (or just entering) his/her senior year of high school it may be necessary to consider leaving the child in the old location to finish the year. Or the situation may arise that a favorite sport or activity, at which the teenager excels, is not available in the new location. This also may necessitate leaving the child behind to receive special instruction.

Listen to Your Teenager:

Listen with sensitivity to your teenager's concerns. Do not force the issue either way. Let the teen know how much he/she will be missed, but that you understand if the decision is to stay. Talk over the options with your teen. Teens are at a very vulnerable stage, emotionally. They need to feel independent, but they need to depend on their parents for support. Allow them to change their minds and make the move, if they so desire. It is important that your teenager have ownership of the decision to stay behind, so that they are not blaming you or other entities. Choose host family with care: Be sure that you are very familiar with the family who will provide a home to the teenager. Have several meetings with them and be sure that they understand and agree to your rules and regulations, curfews, etc. Include your teen and theirs, if your child is staying with a best friend, in these discussions so that everyone involved understands the rules.


Work out a fair payment schedule for food, entertainment, transportation, and board. Perhaps set up a joint bank account with your teenager and put a certain amount in it every month. Be sure that your child has enough of an allowance to get him/her through the month.

Leave a computer behind, maintain an unlimited e-mail account, consider cell phones with unlimited use and any other way to communicate. Allow the teen unlimited use of the computer time and phone to keep in touch. Consider mobile communications with audio and video. Allow enough in your budget for several visits back and forth, especially for the holidays.
Helpful Web Sites:

  1. Department of Defense Education Provided by the Department of Defense school system this site focuses on the history, success rate, student testing procedures and much more.

  2. After School Helping individuals interested in the growth and development of children between ages 6-18 by providing information on how to obtain funding for an event or after school activity.

  3. Healthy Parenting Provides military specific parenting resources including access to Family Advocacy Program, chaplains' programs, and medical clinics.

Military Teens and Kids on the Move Provides exceptional advice and guidance to moving with teens or children for both parents and the children themselves.

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